I wish I had more time.

Each day just zooms by. 
To think of all the things I wish I could accomplish, just stresses me out.  I make to-do lists to help out with that and pin point what I really want to get done.  I don't know why I agreed to work tomorrow, now I'll only have 1 day off this week. Only one day to cuddle my babies and even then I have to spend most of the day running around getting errands / chores done.  I have to schedule myself a three day weekend each month, HAVE TO!  I believe it helps my sanity.
I applied for an activity assistant position at work.  It'll be a little bit of a pay cut but it would get me off the floor.  I'm getting burnt out.  Caring for others 24/7 leaves me feeling empty.  I don't have anyone to care for me.  Not that I want to, it just would be nice to have some help.  I barely get five minutes to myself in a day and if I do I'm usually sacrificing something, currently that would be sleep.  My stress level is through the roof.  Not too mention that I may have to move here soon.  I really don't want to.  I am so fucking sick of moving.  I'm sick of drama, bullshit and fucking problems.  I just want to work, earn a paycheck so I can provide for my children and myself.  I'm trying to hold out until around February.  I don't know if that will happen but at that time I can be better prepared financially.  We'll see, I guess.  Anyway, if I get that position I'd also be able to get dressed for work rather than scrubs all the time.  I miss clothes. I haven't been able to buy myself non-maternity clothes in over 2 years.  I am disgusted with myself.  I've lost forty pounds but I still feel the same.
I'm a major debbie downer tonight but frankly I don't give a shit.  I need to get this out.  I probably could just use some sleep.  I have a hard time dealing with uncertainty.  I over think, over analyze, stress myself out usually for nothing.  I don't know how to stop.
I'm also so tired of not being enough.  Everything I do in this house isn't done right.  I can clean, scrub the entire fucking house top to bottom and I'll just be pointed out what I didn't do.  I don't even know why I bother.  All day I think of things as "Oh I better do that so I don't get yelled at."  "Oh, I forgot that, shit.  Now I'm gonna get yelled at."  It's ridiculous.  I am 26 years old, yet I'm being treated like I'm 14.  Then each week whatever agreement we came to isn't good enough and that changes.  I've paid $587 for august on bills / food, like we agreed.  YET, I apparently didn't follow through.  "Oh that bill was yours.. you don't help me."  What the fuck do you want me to do!!?:!?  I know.  $500 check to landlord.  I will provide my own internet and groceries.  That'll end up being a big ordeal.  I can see it now.  And this is why I may have to move.  I don't know how much longer I can deal with the stress of this situation. 
I don't feel any better but whatever.  g'night.