You ain't nothing but a hound dog, cryin' all the time.

This weekend was stressful to say the least.

My heart aches for my children.  The bottom line though, I have to stand up for them.  They need someone that is reliable, someone they can count on.  He refuses to be that man.  He continues to make excuses and put the blame on others.  After seven months of dealing with this visitation mess, I told him that the next time he sees the kids will be under court order.  I didn't want it to be this way, I asked him a month and half ago to file for a parenting plan.  That way we could go to mediation and get all the kinks worked out and have it in writing.  He doesn't want that.  He wants me to lighten up.  In order for me to be a kind person in his eyes, I would drive him to and from work, drive him to the store to get formula for his daughter and EVEN drive him to court.  Since I am not willing to do that - be his personal chauffeur. (mind you, I helped him get his learner's, he went once to take the drive test, failed and hasn't returned. he uses me as his excuse for not having a license because I won't let him use my car)  I'm not a nice person.  Also I'm supposed to teach him how to be reliable and how to handle his money.  (you could start by not buying an $8 pack of cigarettes every other day) He simply does not understand, what I do each and everyday to care for two children, work full time and provide their needs.  He doesn't understand that it takes nearly an hour to get the kids ready just to leave the house for a couple hours.  Now don't get me wrong, he is an intelligent man, very much so.  He doesn't apply himself.  He thinks he's living the dream because he works off his rent, receives food stamps and has unemployment pay his child support for his son.  He doesn't see that by choosing to live his life half-assed that is the reason why he doesn't see his children regularly.  There is nothing wrong with him.  He can work (oh, he does. under the table.) drive, be an adult.  He just prefers to have everyone else do the hard work, so he can enjoy the benefits.  I'm not putting up with it anymore.  He says the children are too young to understand missed visits and being late.  Well dear, they are growing up rapidly and your habits are not.